Taylor Swift’s video “You Belong With Me” has always bothered me for some reason. With the release of her new version of Fearless, I finally figured out why. She is constantly hitting on someone else’s boyfriend, and then he ditches his girlfriend in the middle of prom to be with Taylor. So, in my first piece of investigative journalism ever, I tracked down the brunette girl in the video. It turns out she has written an open letter to Swift, and it’s getting published here first:
Dear Taylor,
This is Valerie, the brunette girl from the “You Belong With Me” video whose boyfriend you stole from me at prom. I’ve never given my given my side of the story, even though I was very badly portrayed in the video. I just let it go. However, with you rerecording and releasing “You Belong With Me (Taylor’s Version)” it brought up a lot of bad memories, I figured it was time I finally to tell my side.
First of all, sorry I gave you dirty looks all the time, but you were CONSTANTLY hitting on my boyfriend, Chad. I understand he was your next-door neighbor and best friend since you were children, but it was kind of weird you always spied on him through your window and would wait for him at his backdoor for him to get home. Once, while spying, you saw Chad on the phone in a fight with me. You imply in the song that I brought him down because I didn’t “get [Chad’s] humor like [you did].” Frankly, I found his some of his jokes to be misogynistic, and he knew from the start that if he continued to tell those kind of jokes, that would be a deal breaker for our relationship. You may have found those jokes funny, fine, but I wasn’t having it, and let’s just admit that we both know none of those jokes would be ok in the #MeToo era.
You go on to say about the that: “She’s cheer captian and I’m on the bleachers.” Ok, I had to work my ass off to become cheer captain. It took years of grueling dance practices and strength training, and months rehab after I twisted my ankle in 8th grade, to get to where I was. I earned cheer captain, thank you very much. You complain about being stuck on the bleachers but, as seen in the video, you’re in the bleachers at the football game because you’re in the band. I’m sorry you had low self esteem and were never proud of your accomplishments in band, but that really wasn’t my problem.
I invited you to hang out with Chad and I a few times, but you would never hang out with Chad when I was around. I should probably emphasize again that you were CONSTANTLY hitting on my boyfriend.
Also, I must point out that Chad had been your next-door neighbor for 18 years, and you never asked him out once, nor did he ask you. How was I supposed to know I’d be treading on your territory by dating him? You had had 18 years, sweetheart.
You point out that I wore “short skirts” and you wore t-shirts, well thank you shaming me for what I wore and subtly implying I was a slut. I never criticized you for your t-shirts, and not my fault you didn’t have confidence in own your style. As seen in the dancing montage in your bedroom, you obviously had a wide array of stylish clothing.
Your video also features the death glare I gave you from my convertible when I picked up Chad. Let me point out, again, that YOU WERE HITTING on my boyfriend. You seem to use video of my convertible to imply that I was a spoiled brat, but your video also shows you grew up in what is obviously a middle-class suburb, so don’t act like you had no privilege, white girl.
It was pretty shitty of you to show up to prom and steal Chad away. I had been planning prom for months and used my own money I had saved up from giving children private dance lessons on the weekends to afford my hair and makeup and buy that stylish red dress I was wearing. Yes, after you showed up, I was shouting at Chad, but what, I’m not supposed to be pissed when you showed up in that white dress with a sign saying “I love you”? And, as I found out, Chad had a sign saying “I Love You” too. He actually brought a sign to prom saying he loves another girl. If he had been a standup guy, he would have broken it off with me long before prom so I could have found another date.
I was better off in the end, though, because I heard Chad began cheating on you not even two months later with his lifeguard co-worker Stacey. Who would have known the football team captain who left his girlfriend at prom would be so fickle about relationships?
If you’re not in touch with Chad, I should let you know that he friended me on Facebook and Instagram about four years ago. Most of his posts are about his son, who he has custody of every other weekend, or subtle jabs at his ex-wife, or pictures of his new girlfriend Jenna. Every now and then, Chad gets political, like the time in 2016 when he posted that he said he didn’t like Trump, but voted for him because he cares about he economy (and he just couldn’t vote for “Crooked Hillary”). He recently posted how he supported the voting reform laws in Georgia. He admits Biden won, but these new laws are necessary because we just need be able to have faith in the integrity of our elections. He is quick to assure everyone he is not racist. He posts Q conspiracies every now and then, but states that he does so only jokingly
So, it’s over ten years later, and I hope you are doing well. I heard a rumor that you showed up to Chad’s wedding, hid in a curtain, and caused a scene when they said “Speak Now,” but that’s neither here nor there. I’m doing fine myself. I’m head coach for a competitive cheerleading team at a mid-size college and the mother of two beautiful girls. Chad sometimes messages me when he’s drunk and is the first to like my stories on Instagram for some reason.
Anyways, I just wanted to set the record straight.
Sincerely,
Valerie, the brunette girl from the “You Belong With Me” video
I Like The Academy Awards 